I read a post and as many things day to day I now after 6 years in the war of tbi I now can relfect and not have to react fight and question, hate myself or what has happened to my family and I. it is So true and necessary for us all to truly move forward to love freely. Our selves and others. Healing and recovery does happen.I know allot of us survivors have a hard time with this. I did. it was not only hard but for a time I didn't care if it was hard because I thought it was over for me, to much lost, but there hasn't been a second I ever lost the presence of God and my faith. I say my faith because we experience abandonment from family and friends such a catastrophic magnitude. Certainly through our journey in recovery it his horrid, scary and at times we have all thought of giving up. I can assure you by sticking together we are not only never alone but loved and supported.
Its taken me 6 years to even remotely resemble who I once was, but in the process I have had no time to grieve no time to not fight for my life but now Im grateful and still God as given me purpose and I will always do what I can for my fellow survivor. Its hard to be thankful for the pain however I told god when i was 17 years of age, I want to know you all of you and he did not only answer me at the time in italy on a pilgrimage but somehow made all of this make sense to serve humanity.
He has used my talents to keep me alive. I never thought my gift of music would save my life so many times. yes the seizures happen , I can never tour again because we never know how we are going to feel but agin in the last 6 months no cane from my spinal fusion but i am playing even if its just for a little bit. The light, and noise sensitivity sometimes I can't even look at a screen or it can trow me into a seisure but I have learned the balance we must have in life something I never practiced. I was all or nothing black or white and now I am what I am day to day and thats enough for me. But to get here my friends we do have to forgive which does not me we forget.
No one can understand us more then us and certainly those of us in which our lives were taken from us. Forgiveness and Peace were very hard but one evening on the beach in tears in excruciating pain I said it out loud and let it go. One of the hardest things about being a survivor. But know this we are not just survivors we are warriors of light and when we are light, even in the seconds that we may feel it, embrace it, it remains in us and on the days when it is dark, horrifying, I always know I can reach out and not be judged in my pain, not feel selfish or guilty for asking for help. I at times were embarrassed. But peace was never something I truly understood until I long for it. Be Brave my friends , Brave LoVe™. When we brave love, that equals peace forgiveness understand trust and faith all in one simple yet most complex conquest known to mankind..LoVe...That starts with you. Let yourself cry let yourself learn to laugh again even if it takes years.Be brave. 6 years later Im alive I walk a mile along the ocean, yes pain becomes an alarm clock that never seems to let up but even that I had to make friends with it, understand it, learn my body, its there but its not my existence anymore, I am not controlled by it. Instead I have learned many things. To be grateful in a way I never imagined. Again, be Brave Love yourself enough to forgive. Your quality of life depends on it. Lv to all of you - GregCosta
